passion @ uwa

"Love Him with ALL your SOUL. Your soul is where you DECIDE. Have you ever decided to do something, even though you didnt feel like doing it? You have a will. You're NOT driven by emotions or even by your thoughts. YOUR SOUL DECIDES."

We read that yesterday. Today, we are given more insight into what that really means. And as I type this, like Stan, I am not in the attempt to type out a sermon note here. We are all on the same page, what I read this morning still needs to be digested in me but here are my thoughts thus far and this is what I would say to myself:

My soul decides. I have a will. My soul is the power by which I live. If that is so, then why is it that I so easily fall into temptation? If my soul is the POWER by which I live by, why do I feel defeated and weak so easily? If my soul decides, why is it so hard for me to say "NO" when I really need to say "no"? These are the battles that I constantly fight in my inward being. Struggles that trouble my heart though not visible by others. So i really need to ask myself honestly, have i been living by mere emotions? (my soul decides) Have I been driven by my own thoughts? (my soul decides) Have I given in or given up? (my soul decides)

I NEED TO WAKE UP! I need to start getting a grip of my own life. I am in control because GOD IN ME is in control. It's time for me to stand up, be in control and live a life of conviction. "Your soul is your will to decide; it has to do with the direction your life is taking." If I do not start taking control of myself, i will continue to go downstream; being blinded by emotions, tossed and turned around because: i. just. cant. decide.

"Your soul is your DESIRES and PASSIONS" So if I can just get myself to DECIDE, my PASSION will drive me to do many things in life. It's like the "IT" factor. If i have IT, IT will drive me to seek Him passionately. IT will drive me to love Him, love His people. IT will drive me to be so in love with His Word, prayer and worship. IT will drive me to serve. IT will drive me to be so madly and deeply in tuned with Him; just wanting to LIVE FOR HIM and be able to say "You know what God, dont worry about my own expectations of what life should be, YOUR WILL be done in my life. Here I am. Nah! Take me! Use me!"

That's IT! That's PASSION! I want that. I want to be so passionate, so hungry for more, so thirsty for His presence, so madly in love with Him that I am able to let go of my whole self - and it's just me and Him. sounds great. sounds inspiring. but it's almost always impossible. easier said than done. But I will strive towards it. I will be honest with Him when I pray, and to let Him know that I truly want to learn to love Him with ALL my soul and I need His help to work in me to get me there.

Why? Because I am the only ME in all of creation. That means He's longing to hear MY voice, He's longing to see ME grow, He's waiting on ME to listen to His voice. HE WANTS ME! He wants ME to read His Word (not letting others interpreting it for me, but I MYSELF understanding Him), He wants to listen to MY voice in prayer (and not just others interceeding for me), He wants to hear MY worship to Him, He wants to see ME dancing/jumping around passionately and excitedly for Him, He wants to see ME on my knees before His throne. Not others. But ME. He wants ME. I have to question myself honestly, am I giving Him: "ME"? I need to stop looking to the right and to the left; I need to start walking on my own path with my God.

My soul decides. I am deciding on HIM today.

-Let-